


There's No Need to Say The End

by ginafics



Category: NCT (Band), SuperM (Korea Band), WayV (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Domestic, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Lee Taeyong/Wong Kun Hang | Hendery, Minor Mark Lee/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Platonic Relationships, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:20:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26254030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ginafics/pseuds/ginafics
Summary: "I'll introduce you to him, I swear you'll like him!" There's a certain sparkle in Taeyong's eyes.“Careful, I might just fall in love with him if you don’t stop talking about how sparkly his eyes are and how funny he is.” Ten grins slyly.
Relationships: Lee Taeyong & Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten
Comments: 17
Kudos: 25





	There's No Need to Say The End

**Author's Note:**

> For Dan <3
> 
> There’s no need to say “the end” because I’ll be by your side forever. Hey, no matter what happens, we’ll be together, just like always.
> 
> —Smile Flower by Seventeen.

_ Pretty. _

He's reminded of all the times his brain had associated the word with Taeyong.

When he first met the boy in high school. Ten had been the odd new student from Thailand and Taeyong had been the closed off student that everyone admired from afar. Ten ended up seated beside Taeyong as it was the only empty chair left in the class.  _ Pretty.  _ His brain provided uselessly when Taeyong introduced himself.

He didn't think about it so much at that time.

He doesn't think about it at all.

Not when Taeyong smiled at him so brightly after Ten declared himself as Taeyong's new friend. Not when they decided to stick together through the strange stage of puberty. Not when Taeyong cried, swollen face and snot everywhere, after high school graduation because he was scared they would get separated and drifted away from each other in college. Not when Taeyong cried once again, with a big smile adorning his lips, after finding that they were attending the same college and were assigned as roommates. Not when Ten first saw Taeyong’s sleeping form, all soft colors and gentle even breathing as the sun caressed his newly dyed blond hair—pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty,  _ pretty. _

Ten isn't sure why he never thinks about it. Maybe as he finds contemporary dances pretty, he finds Taeyong just as pretty. Taeyong who lives in muted shades and pastel colors. Taeyong who grew from dull icy blue into the prettiest shade of pastel pink, and yellow, and green, and blue, and purple right before Ten’s eyes—Taeyong who is built on layers upon layers of colors that he becomes the embodiment of white. Art is a pretty thing and somehow Taeyong belongs in the same category as that. It sounds logical in Ten's brain.

However the pin that is currently pricking his chest makes Ten wonder if it’s ever that simple. The bubbling feeling inside his stomach feels oddly similar to irritation as he listens to Taeyong droning on and on about his new crush.

He should have thought about it—all the times when he thought that Taeyong is pretty. He should have turned it over and over in his brain until it tastes like stale bread, until he understands all sides of the seemingly harmless thought.

Because this feels scarily close to jealousy. 

And he wants to mentally slap himself for not noticing the signs. He wants to bury himself alive for only noticing the crush that he has been harboring on the night of Taeyong's successful first date. Ten can hear the blaring alarm in his brain. This is uncharted territory, he has never done  _ feelings. _

"Ten, I'll introduce you to him, I swear you'll like him!" There's a certain sparkle in Taeyong's eyes that he hasn't seen in a long time and there’s a pang in his heart at the realization.

Ten smiles.

Because that’s what friends do, because despite the shocking things that are melting his brain at an alarming rate, Ten is genuinely happy that Taeyong finally finds a worthy date after the countless awful ones.

“Careful Yong, I might just fall in love with him if you don’t stop talking about how sparkly his eyes are and how funny he is.” Ten grins slyly and Taeyong pouts. There’s a sharp slap to his upper arm, followed by a playful glare that Ten is familiar with.

“Don’t you dare,” he says with a finger pointing at Ten threateningly. Ten just smiles fondly as he holds his palms up, surrendering. The scowl in Taeyong’s face melts into another dreamy expression, his eyes twinkle and his smile radiates glee, and once again Ten’s guts twist.

_ Pretty.  _ Taeyong is so pretty and Ten is simply hopeless.

“You have the dumbest smile right now, loverboy.” Ten keeps up with the teasings—because that’s what Ten does, he teases and he acts disgusted. He takes comfort in the familiarity. All the snarky teasing and playful banter, he knows how to navigate himself through them. He pushes the newly found feelings at the back of his mind, locks it inside a box and throws away the key. Those can wait for when he is alone and ready to address their existence. Not now. Not when Taeyong is obviously smitten with this Hendery boy.

“Congrats on the new soon to be boyfriend, tell him I’ll snap his spine in two if he breaks your heart.” Ten says again lightly, as if it's a mere afterthought, as if it's a joke. Taeyong knows it isn't.

Taeyong throws a smile at him, as gentle as the moonlight, muted silver and all knowing. Ten can’t help but to embed the picture into his memory—the one smile he induces.

* * *

Ten can feel the axes to his world shifting. Realizing that you have feelings for your best friend is not the easiest thing to navigate, especially when the rest of the world moves as if Ten's world hasn't just been tilted 180° by some unknown forces—the time keeps ticking, the stars keep twinkling, the Earth is still turning, and the mid-term exams for the art department is still happening next week.

A date turns into two, and then three, and suddenly Taeyong has a new boyfriend whom he truly adores. Ten is actually glad that exams are closing in and he's busy perfecting the choreography for his classes—busy enough to not care about his heart's predicaments. 

Taeyong is still Taeyong. He still cooks breakfast and leaves dinner on their mini stove for Ten to heat up when he comes home late, he still cleans the house every Wednesday because that is his day off, he still takes naps with Ten whenever Ten comes home with a splitting headache. And Ten is still Ten. He takes Taeyong's laundry with him every Friday, he practices in the campus dance studio until late, and sometimes he lets himself to take a peek inside the mess that is his fucking emotions. 

After a few weeks, Ten has come up with three conclusions.

One, Ten has a crush on Taeyong, that much is obvious—it might even be more than a simple crush, but that's another box to analyze when he's ready to open it.

Two, this is not the first time Taeyong has a boyfriend. A person as pretty as Taeyong has a lot of admirers and Ten is still not sure why this Hendery boy is the one that makes him acknowledge his own feelings. He guesses that's another thing on the list for him to understand.

Three, Ten will most definitely not say a word about these conclusions to his best friend until— _ well, _ until he doesn't have a boyfriend anymore, obviously. Unless they somehow last for a lifetime and end up getting married, which honestly is a problem for future Ten.

Things, unfortunately, never go as planned in life. With exams being his main act of distraction, everything eventually comes head to head when the distraction ceases to exist. Exams are done and Ten finally has the chance to take a breath without feeling the weight of deadlines on his shoulders. Sure, some of his joints ache as a result of the vigorous dance training for two weeks straight, but at least he could sleep in without feeling anxious.

It’s a good morning. He wakes up at 10, feeling all refreshed and light after a good seven hours of sleep. Taeyong, of course, had woken up way earlier and prepared breakfast. It has become a tradition since their second semester, Ten would finish exam season and Taeyong would prepare a hearty breakfast as a form of celebration. And later on, when Taeyong has finished his own exams, Ten would indulge the boy with his cake and ice cream cravings.

When Ten comes out of his room, their flat is for once bathed in sunlight and morning air, showing off the spacious space. The smell of Taeyong’s cooking wafts across the room. Taeyong turns his head at the sound of Ten’s room closing, sending a wide smile to his still sleepy looking friend. Ten smiles back as his heart warms at the familiar sight.

“Morning, you sleepy-head. This has left a dent on our monthly budget, but I’m making galbitang.” Ten hears Taeyong’s grin more than he sees it as Taeyong already turns back to his food. Ten sits in front of their kitchen island—the apartment is too small to put a dining table, so they just buy some high stools and make use of their kitchen island. It’s not like they eat at home often. There’s an array of side dishes already spreaded on the white granite surface. Taeyong moves around the kitchen before putting a perfect looking bowl of rice, all puffing hot and making Ten’s stomach grumbles. He picks up his chopsticks and steals a bean sprout from one of the side dishes. It tastes too nice for a mere side dish.

“You’ve outdone yourself once again, Yong.” Ten says and suddenly Taeyong is beside him, hand slapping the chopsticks away from his fingers.

“No food stealing!” he pouts before proceeding to put a bowl of piping hot galbitang in front of Ten and his own side. Ten just chuckles, but he put his chopsticks back to its place beside his bowl of rice. Ten finally digs in after Taeyong takes his seat across from him, moaning at how good the galbitang feels in his taste bud and empty stomach.

Their meal time has always been an allocated time for them to catch up with each other, and Taeyong takes the wheel today by launching himself into the grocery store story. Apparently, it took him three days to buy all the ingredients for today's breakfast. Ten almost feels guilty for eating the food—a three days effort will probably be gone in the next 30 minutes, but then his stomach rumbles again and he’s reminded of Taeyong’s heavenly food. Ten leans back on his chair, feeling content to just watch as Taeyong struggles to eat and animatedly tell an incident with some middle-aged woman at the same time. The white apron that still adorns Taeyong’s chest blends nicely with the baby blue shirt he’s wearing. The sun is shining through the window in their kitchen wall, reflecting itself from Taeyong’s rose gold hair. His dark eyes seem sparkling under the morning light, as if they were coming alive for the first time after a while. 

_ Pretty _ .

Something in his chest clenches achingly. He doesn’t remember—doesn't pay enough attention. When did Taeyong dye his hair? Did he ask for Ten’s advice? Has Ten said something about the new color?  _ God _ , he doesn’t remember.

“Yong, the new hair looks really good.” Ten says softly, his guts twisting in guilt and embarrassment. And Ten expects—he doesn’t know what he expects, a slight anger, or some whining, a half playful half serious reprimand maybe—but whatever he’s expecting, a soft giddy chuckle is not it.

“Thank you! Hendery suggested it a week ago and it turned out really pretty.”

_ Right. Hendery. _

“Your boyfriend has taste, I see.” The blush in Taeyong’s cheeks twist another knife into his guts.

Ten swallows back the ugly feeling down his throat, desperately making a free space inside him to enjoy Taeyong’s food. After all the food was made for him, it would be rude to not enjoy it fully. The silence envelops them once again—familiar, although it tastes a little bit bitter. Ten washes the feelings out with the meat broth.

“Oh right, Ten!” Taeyong says after a few mouthfuls of rice. Ten hums, eyes fleeting to Taeyong once again. "Now that your exams are finished, you're free all day right?"

There's a weight that is suddenly added onto his shoulder, an ominous feeling clouding him. He knows where this conversation will lead to—knows the destination where he will be left off.

"What do you think of meeting Hendery?"

Ten's eyes flick upwards, and this time they stay and run over his best friend's face, searching for something he's not even sure of—anything to prove  _ something _ to himself. He takes his time to watch Taeyong—no, he  _ sees _ Taeyong. And that's when it hits him.

_Taeyong_ _glows_.

It hits him in the worst way possible because he should have seen this coming. If it's not for the distraction that he craves so much, he would have noticed the slight differences earlier, instead of being slapped right across his face with them. Taeyong glows in the best way possible. He's suddenly no longer muted shades and pastel colors. It feels as if he  _ blooms _ —he blooms like a fucking rose. As if the pastel pink and muted icy blue are replaced with rose gold and sky blue. The opaque changes into pristine white, and by God, Ten swears that only makes him even more gorgeous— _ vibrant _ .

Ten knows how it feels to have his hopes crushed by reality, this feels exactly like that—maybe  this time it's his heart that's getting crushed instead of his hopes. He doesn't know which one is better.

The rest of the world still moves.

"Okay," he says. He wishes his smile is passable enough to be genuine. "But I'm taking Mark with me, I'm not third-wheeling you two." Ten scoffs playfully, the pin in his chest doesn't stop pricking the already bleeding heart.

* * *

When Taeyong said they were meeting Hendery, Ten thought they would meet in a cafe or in some random park in the city. Ten never thinks he would be standing in front of an amusement park at nine in the morning with Mark and Yukhei out of everyone. He sighs at the prospect of fifth wheeling his friends for hours. Mark might hate amusement parks, but Yukhei loves them—they'd definitely stay until the sun sets.

"Thank you, Mark, for joining me with such a short notice." Ten says to which Mark responds with a grin. His eyes also sparkle.

"It's okay, man, Xuxi's been whining to come here even before the exam season has finished."

Ten snickers at that, "You don't even like going on the rides.  _ Whipped _ ." However, he stops short when his eyes meet Mark's. Behind all the sparkles and excitement, Ten can see the burning curiosity. Mark has always been too perceptive for his own safety, and usually Ten likes it, but he's not sure if he's ready to be questioned about his feelings today.

A shout of their names being called from somewhere in the crowd breaks the moment. Ten can see Taeyong moving through the crowds, with his hand clasped in another guy's hand—someone that Ten has only seen from pictures and short video calls. There's a bucket hat that covers a quarter of his face, but the happy grin that is plastered on his lips is as genuine as it can get. 

_ Hendery. _

* * *

The day has been fun, Ten hates to admit it, but the day really turns out to be a good one. The sun is in its way to set over the horizon, and the amusement park is gradually getting even more crowded. It’s a nice day out to have a date and the lights in the park are too pretty of a sight to be missed. Hendery has been really nice—too nice for Ten to despise or even to try finding any dirt on him. He’s the epitome of a sunny day out with friends, of road trips and summer camps. Ten can’t hate him when the boy is all cheery smiles and playful fights. He’s a perfect match for Mark and Yukhei, a lot of good chaotic energy, and at the same time a little bit of a nerd.

Ten can see why Taeyong falls for the boy in such a short span of time.

Hendery is  _ radiant. _

And as Mark falls for Yukhei, Taeyong would also fall for Hendery. God, even Ten would fall for the boy if they meet in a different situation. Like a child presented with a new shiny toy, like a moth being attracted to the fire, Taeyong flocks to Hendery. The younger is not only vibrant, but he also showers everything around him with his own light. Like a burning star, one that is young and a little bit of a walking disaster. It's only fate that Taeyong's love language is an act of service. He thrives from taking care of those he holds dear in his life. 

It sucks so much, Ten realizes as he watches Yukhei, Taeyong, and Hendery having fun on the roller coaster, while he waits at the ground with Mark. It sucks a lot because he  _ knows _ they're both good for each other, and Ten doesn't have any right to ruin what is good for Taeyong.

"So…" Mark suddenly says, breaking the moment, in a soft tone—as if he can see it, as if he knows Ten needs the gentleness. But he doesn't say anything afterwards and Ten doesn't know how to respond to that.

"So." he ends up repeating.

"You finally realized it, huh?" Ten doesn't get surprised that Mark knows. Mark is never oblivious, unless it's his own problems. The heat still rises to his cheeks though. The bitterness still lingers at the back of his tongue. He doesn't say anything.

"What are you going to do?" Mark asks again after a few beats of silence—just as gentle.

Ten smiles at the younger and shakes his head, "Nothing. He deserves this. He deserves all the good things that come his way, and Hendery's good for him. I've never seen him this  _ alive. _ "

Mark nods in simple acceptance. It's always simple with Mark, that's why Ten finds comfort in him. "You know," Mark says hesitantly, "you're always welcome in my dorm, or Xuxi's dorm. It might get hard."

And that makes Ten grins because Mark is just  _ so _ good and genuine all the time. He messes with Mark's hair as his way to say thank you.

"Taeyong hyung looks at Hendery the same way you look at him, by the way. That's how I know. You guys are…  _ smitten. _ " Mark suddenly adds and that puts things into perspective for Ten. He has always perceived the world in colors where he stays in the monochrome spectrum. It is a part why he sticks to Taeyong so much—when you live in a world of contrasts and sharp edges, anything with a little splash of color would bound to spice up your world. Taeyong brightens Ten's world in the most subtle way and softens all of his nook and cranny, cutting the unnecessary thorns off his skin. And Hendery illuminates Taeyong's world, showering him with lights and attention—so much that Taeyong blooms so prettily under his care.

He can't do that, he thinks. All of his prickly thorns and sharp tongue exists to protect and Taeyong has never needed any protections, especially from Ten. The thought feels heartbreaking, as if Taeyong just gets even further from his reach. He watches as Taeyong laughs—loud and unabashed—at the way Hendery trips on his own feet after getting off of the roller coaster. And for a moment, Ten stands still to savor the sight because heaven knows when he would be able to watch Taeyong like this ever again—all fond and overbrimming with feelings. Taeyong looks gorgeous under the orange skylight. Taeyong, who glows under the unrelenting star, looks awfully mesmerizing compared to the black, and the white, and the hundreds shades of grey that is Ten. 

_ Pretty. _

* * *

Ten never knows that supporting your best friend's relationship would become one of the hardest things he has ever done. He tries—God knows how hard he  _ tries.  _ To put a genuine smile across his face, to be equally excited when Taeyong told him about his dates, to push back his own issues and maintain their friendship as it is. For fuck's sake, he even tried to go on a few dates and invited strangers over for a night just to shake off his feelings. Trying doesn't work as well as he has been hoping. 

Maybe, he's just a bad friend. 

Currently, he's hiding and partly avoiding Taeyong. He's not sure about what he should do whenever Taeyong talks about Hendery, how he should act whenever Hendery comes over to visit, how to stop the persistent ache inside his chest everytime Hendery refers to him casually—as if they're friends, as if he's making an effort to genuinely befriend the people in Taeyong's life. 

There are footsteps that break his train of thoughts. He can feel the presence of another person in front of him before the footstep even stops. The summer breeze blows right before he opens his eyes, bringing a little coolness to end the heat of the day. It almost feels like a premonition of what to come.

_ Ah. _

_ Right. Taeyong has always been braver than him. _

His mind supplies a reason for Taeyong to stand right in front of him, under the big three near the dance studio that Ten regularly comes to. His eyes are glaring at Ten, and yet it still can’t hide his burning concern.

Ten inhales the remnants of summer heat in the air into his lungs, “Hi,” he says casually—his voice almost sounds relieved. Strangely, there’s a weight that is lifted from his shoulders. Maybe because Taeyong looks for him first, maybe because he knows this would probably be the confrontation that he has been anxiously anticipating.

“Did I do something wrong?” Taeyong fires straight away, right to the center of the problem. Taeyong has always been braver than him. Maybe not in many things, but he would fight tooth and nail for the things that matter—things that build Taeyong's core, things like his loved ones. Sometimes Ten is grateful to be reminded that he  _ is  _ a part of that.

“No,” Ten says easily. Taeyong looks definitely frustrated and Ten almost feels guilty.

Taeyong sighs, his tensed shoulders visibly relax with his conscious effort.

“Are you okay?” he asks again because, of course, he worries. Taeyong often knows things that happen to Ten before he knows it himself. Ten chuckles at that, and somehow it doesn’t sound as hollow as he expects it to be.

“No,” he repeats. “No, I’m not really okay, Yong.”

Taeyong takes a seat beside him on the wooden bench, and Ten runs his mouth before he can stop it.

“I like you—like, romantically  _ like  _ you.” Ten can feel Taeyong going rigid once again beside him. He chuckles once again. “I know, it’s quite shitty of me, with Hendery and all. For the record, I didn’t really realize it until it was too late.” He dares a look at Taeyong.

Taeyong—for the lack of better terms—looks shocked. Well, Ten can relate to that, so he lets his best friend take his time to process everything. And Ten expects Taeyong to be angry at him, expects the other to call him selfish or something along that line, expects Taeyong to maybe, for the first time in his life, lashes out at Ten.

Instead he gets a bitter smile and teary eyes. And when Taeyong releases his breaths, it’s shaky. 

“I’m the one risking our friendships and your relationship with the one you love, and yet you are the one crying. God, Yong, what should I do with you?” There’s a fondness that seeps into Ten’s voice.

“I’m not crying!” Taeyong sends him a glare with his teary eyes, making Ten actually laughs.

“Okay, whatever you say, baby.” And this warms Ten’s heart. Having a normal banter and conversation with Taeyong even when everything else between them is on the verge of breaking. There's a semblance of hope that blooms inside Ten—that maybe they could come out of this unscathed.

There’s a silence that envelops them once again, but this one is less tense, less charged with guilt and bitterness and whatnot.

“Is  _ this _ not enough?” Taeyong finally asks simply and Ten can read all the implied references and the meanings in between the lines. Ten shakes his head softly.

“I haven’t told you about it until now for a reason. You love him, Yong, and the two of you—you’re both good for each other.” 

Ten takes Taeyong’s hand in his and intertwines their fingers together, turning his head to look at his best friend in the eyes. Somehow feeling as if he needs to convince Taeyong that he’s speaking the truth—that he’s not just saying this without meaning it, that  _ this _ is true and honest and everything that he can give to Taeyong for now.

“You bloomed when you’re with him. You love him and he makes you happy, and that’s enough for me.  _ This _ ,” his eyes fleet to their clasped hands, “is enough for me. I love you just as you love me—platonically and with everything that we have inside our hearts. That is also enough or me. I like you romantically, and now you  _ know _ , and I can’t ask for more than  _ this. _ ” he says and another weight is lifted once again, leaving him all empty and light. Maybe he should have done this since day 1 instead of avoiding his best friend.

Taeyong heaves a relief sigh. “I feel very selfish because the first thing that comes to my brain was that I don't want to lose you."

And Ten grins—genuinely grins. "You're not going to get rid of me that easily." He winks. "But also, sometimes I would need a space to gather my thoughts and feelings and stuff together, so please bear with me when it happens."

"Of course," Taeyong says softly before chuckling, "God, and all this time Kunhang was trying to get your approval so bad, he really thought you hate him." The grin on Ten's face only widens.

"Tell him that I'm ready to steal you if he ever made one wrong move." Taeyong slaps him in the arm playfully.

"You're an ass," Taeyong whines. 

"Also, don't tell him, but I'd definitely fall in love with him if we met under different circumstances." And in the next second he finds himself falling on the ground as Taeyong pushes him down. The glare in Taeyong's eyes suddenly feels real. Ten just laughs at his situation.

"Don't you fucking dare, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul. I swear I would throw you out of our apartment."

Ten puts his hands up once again—surrendering. And, God, the actual jealousy in Taeyong's eyes is heartbreaking. All of this is so goddamn heartbreaking, but Ten knows he would be okay with how things are—he  _ wants _ to be okay with how things are. Ten knows it is not his time to pursue his feelings. Maybe it will be one day, maybe it won't ever come, but he will hold out his hope for the day to come. All of his cards are on the table for now. And if it would get swept by the autumn wind, buried by the oncoming winter blizzard, or bloomed once again under the rain of spring later on, that's a matter for the Ten in the future.

For now Ten would embed Taeyong's bright smile under the summer sun inside his heart and try his best to send back a smile as genuine—because this is not the end of the world for the both of them. Taeyong won't leave Ten because of a matter as simple as a growing crush, and Ten for sure won't leave Taeyong just because he decides to love someone that makes him happy. Maybe one day in the future, Taeyong would open his heart a little bit wider for Ten to fit himself in, with all of his prickly thorns and sharp contrast—maybe one day when Taeyong shines a little bit too bright for the world, he would need Ten's shadows to balance him out. Maybe they will be together when that day comes, maybe not. Ten is not really bothered about it right now.

Either way, in this moment, as the orange sky turns to purple and dark blue, and as the stars start winking at them from a distance that they can't even imagine to reach, they are still together.

And it is enough because it is love in its own way.


End file.
